Mommy Does
Today was pretty much one of those days. You know the ones. Where you wake up much earlier than your body wants to simply because your brain and body are somewhat out of sync. I squirmed around in the softness of the silky feeling sheets, but no amount of tired body bribing could convince my brain to shut back down. So I got up and allowed for the hot streams of water to caress my still sleeping muscles and attempt to convince them that they should wake up. They refused, which, as you know, makes a shampoo job seem more like a cat washing affair in all the trouble it is.

When you have a day like this the brain, which was the root of this whole ordeal, stays awake until your body begins to respond and then steps back out for a cat nap leaving you with a dreary feeling. Nice trick if you ask me. Wake up just enough to leave your victim feeling strung out. It's at these moments that I appreciate the elixir of life. That dark stream of richness which promises to beat some sense into that awful organ who had the indecency to leave you in the situation which you have, ponderously, found yourself in.

A cup (or three) of God's sure sign he's still thinking of me and I surveyed the damage. See I reside in a domicile filled with destructive forces with black holes where stomachs should be. The morning routine? Carelessly dump toys in the walking path of the mindless zombie who will be roused from her precious sleep to stumble into the kitchen in hopes of a cure....sound familiar? If not allow me to expound: zombies are not generally assosciated with pleasant heart and flower type thoughts. More along the lines of monstrous and avoid at all costs type thoughts. Do destructive forces follow these rules? Most certainly not! They enrage it with sharp toys placed in, what I believe are, carefully chosen places to maximize damage. Actually when I think about it it's quite brilliant...

This morning was particularly tiresome since we were supposed to be entertaining guests. So I am standing there with my three incredible wound up, hyped up, loud and obnoxious bundles of joy (whoever came up with that saying has never been up at three in the AM with a leech carelessly tearing at a teat that has about nothing in common with a cows and therefore is swollen, sore, and quite indignant said bundle of joy) and thinking.....oh boy it's going to be one of those days.
Mommy Does
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Hope you enjoy and find something useful!
Mommy Does
Husband: *Makes awkward squawk sound*

Me: *Looks startled...and seriously concerned*

Husband: What?

Me: Yeah, that's what I was about to ask...*still a bit concerned*

Husband: That was the sound a pterodactyl makes

Me: And you know this how....

Husband: Stephen Hawking told me

Me: *Back to concerned look*

Husband: Seriously, he went back in time to study the sounds that pterodactyls make, then came back, and, in secrecy, told me.

Me: Few flaws in your story, but ok, I'll bite. How, pray tell, did Stephen Hawking convey HOW to make that particular sound?

Husband: Sounded it out...you know "beep, boop, beep" (which, by the way, sounds amazingly like a squawk?)

Me: Why would he tell you? He could tell anyone, why you?

Husband: It's apart of a super secret plan, but he knew that since I wasn't famous I'd pose no risk.

Me: Risk to what?

Husband: *Matter of factly* to the PLAN....geesh

This is a paraphrase, but you get the gist of our conversations. Title sums it all up.
Mommy Does
I have about 8 hundred million things to do (btw that is my default exaggeration number). Woke up to ANOTHER overflowed diaper. Seriously?? This peanut goes to bed in a dry diaper and wakes up with it overflowed....I just don't get it. The litter box desperately needs changed. Quizzes, critiques, posts and assignments (actually have a cool one this week!). But you know what I really want to do? Get curled up on the couch with my princess and make jewelry while sipping hot chocolate. Doesn't that sound sublime? Well I could throw a fit or realize I'm an adult. So I'm off to conque....wait a minute! I'm an adult!

"Harvest?"

"Yes, mom?"

"Wanna blow off life and make pretties" (she's three so give me a break).

*Excited voice* "Yeah!"

Well it's decided then! Later peeps!
Mommy Does
everything unholy! Seems a little extreme right? Wrong! I began week three of this lovely term with this unbelievably cruel class and high hopes. By Sunday I was a miserable, sobbing heap with a husband who shielded the children from various flying objects that varied from calculators to notebooks with what appears to be a foreign language scribbled all over them. Oh dear God help us all! Just take a look:


If you screamed in terror I must apologize for shocking you with that horrifying image. Now the book starts out with "This is not a math course..." WTF?!?! Am I the only one that sees math symbols ALL OVER THOSE PAGES?? If it's not a math class then what is it? To solve one problem....ONE....takes about 2-3 pages of notations. Ok now if that isn't math I just don't know what is. The best part? If you are off by one digit the answer is wrong. So my wonderfully, stressful Sunday where my family feared for their very lives....did it end fruitfully with a finished assignment? Oh no - no it did not. It ended with a C. Moral of the story....eat, drink, live long, prosper - hopefully without a statistics class!

P.S. I had actually spent hours the entire week trying to do this assignment...it all just boiled over on Sunday!
Mommy Does
To download this pack click here. If you use this pack please leave me a note and tell me how it worked out! I'd love to see how it was used. Thanks and enjoy!

Mommy Does
Who is Coffee part 1
The dark liquid pours into a cup
The seething, churning cauldron
A roast as rich as night's corrupt
A lustful brew most like it's chosen

A hand that caresses the mocha
Is sinful as the cocoa it's made of
Creamy as thighs he spoke of
Daring as journeys forbade from

A latte is bitter- frustration it cries
Froth and foam form and fight
Seething dies into stolen sighs
A liquid strength of iron might

Desire: Who is Coffee part 2
The will of the follower
Broken at day and broken at night
A caffeine hold upon the brawler
A hold that tests resolves might

The morning light grips her head
The strongest brew grasps her heart
The demon inside demands to be fed
She and her cup are never apart

Though her adventure lies
In steamy nights and frothy ties
Lustful beans are all she spies
As seductively pursed lip implies

No lover knows her in ways like Joe
Her manic eyes say it all
This depth of darkness always flows
Her answer will always be to his call

Treachery: Who is Coffee part 3
Tea once tried to come between
His good nature questioned her will
Rooibos, black, and even green
He somehow lacked Joe’s deep thrill

The innocence: so light, so pure
Thought to stir away her madness
His sweet touch just could not lure
The addictions depth left her breathless

Her night’s passion lies too deep
The mocha, the latte, the need
The coffee is balanced, bitter and steep
The darkness’ penetrating seed